In Vodka Veritas
by Synonymia
Summary: In vodka we find truth. One shot vignette. Reno's POV on life.


**In Vodka Veritas**  
A Shinimegami Rena Valentine Production

"Why do you drink?"

Question of the Day. Question of the Week. Question of my entire fucking life. Why do I drink? That's like asking why I sleep, why I eat, why I breathe.

In simple terms, I drink because I need to. 

Alcoholic. 

You see me like this and of course that's the thought that comes to mind. Stupid, worthless drunk. Nothing better to do with his time and gil so he comes down to whatever bar is closest and drinks it all down. Just a worthless, uneducated jackass and you're happy you're not me. 

You've never asked yourself why you drink, have you? I'm sure if you did, you'd realize that you're reasons pale in comparison to my own. 

Lost your girlfriend? 

Mine was killed in a gang shoot-out 

Bad childhood? Bad family life? 

You Don't want to hear mine, trust me. 

Lost your job? 

Imagine if you had my job. 

You had a bad day? 

I had a bad _life._

But hey, looking down on me makes you feel better about yourself. It's common human nature. Everyone does it. I understand. 

But do you? 

You see the bruises, the broken arm, the way I seem to be limping as I step up to the bar. Another drunk got in a brawl probably over some petty misunderstanding. 

If only you knew... 

You look at the news on the TV overhead and see the destruction of Sector 7. You curse out the person who did it, wish death and misfortune upon him. Little do you know... 

Little do you know... 

Catch a glimpse of me with a gun. Then you'll sing a different tune. With my electro magnetic rod? You won't even get the chance to sing. 

Death and misfortune? It's nothing new to me. Death is all around me. Misfortune? Something I bring to others. Do you honestly think I wanted to kill those people? Do you think I'm that sort of a sadist? 

A jackass? Yes. A bastard? You're all too right. But I take no pleasure in the death and pain of others. 

It's all part of the job. 

And I take my job very seriously. 

Never drunk on the job. That's rule number one in Reno's Book of Drinking. Always do the job sober, no matter what. Whether you're dropping a plate on hundreds of people, killing a father of three because he looked at the president funny, or kidnapping young women, always do it sober. Never rely on the drink. 

But I'm not on the job now, and I won't be for a few weeks. 

So you didn't recognize me? Pity. I'm part of the most recognizable organizations in the world. Oh, you get it now. A Turk. 

Yes, that's right. What are you going to do about it? Kick me out of your bar? You know you don't want to do that... 

Don't stare at me now. I may get angry. And the one thing you don't want to see is an angry Turk. Worse still is the anger of this one. 

A scotch? For free? Sure. If it has alcohol in it, I'm there. 

Why won't I be on the job? Now there's a funny question! A stupid one too! It's hard to fire a gun with a broken arm. It's hard to chase down terrorists when you can barely walk. 

They say I should be at home, resting. Fuck. Why bother wasting money on little pills that'll knock me out for a few hours. Beer comes cheaper and tastes a helluva lot better anyway. You think I'd honestly bother with that shit? 

No, I was never into drugs. Girls yes, but drugs no. Yeah, I was poor when I was younger. Got my money and food from petty theft... I worked my way up in the business. Theft to beatings to murder to assassinations. 

Girls? Yeah, they're nice. All kinds... I have very little in the way of preference. The best? Oh, you remember me mentioning her. Good guy! I'll give you a higher tip! I may even pay part of my tab today. Sorry though, don't feel like talking about Jenna now. Wrong place, wrong time. I loved her though. I'll admit that much. 

Yes, love. I'm a cold blooded killer, but I am capable of love. 

I admit that too. I'm a cold blooded killer. Yeah, you were afraid to call me that. They all are. But... that's what I am. I kill for a living. I don't like it, but I don't shed a tear. I don't feel any remorse or guilt when I do it, or afterwards. 

Afterwards? I just numb it. Beer, martinis, scotch, whisky, gin, rum, vodka, whatever you've got. It's a win win situation. You get money, I get release. 

Sure, I wake up and everything's back the way it started. I'm still in a worthless life with a shitty job and rent to pay. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Pfft... but when you've lived the life I have, you learn to live for the moment. Why worry about anything when you could get shot in the head tomorrow? 

So I turn to you, my wonderful friend and supplier. Sure I'm looked at in an even lower light, but it's worth it. 

Yeah, I'm a sloven drunkard. I'm a disgusting excuse for a human. I'm a murderer. I'm a womanizer. I'm someone you warn your children about when they don't behave. I'm Reno Alec Charlemagne. So many things, none of them good. 

I wear the title "Alcoholic" with pride, and how many people can admit to that? 

You know what they say. When everything and everyone else has failed you in life, there's always one thing you can turn to to make it all go away. 

In Vodka Veritas. 

So pass me another. This time hold the ice. I still have so much left I want to know, and so much more I want to forget. 

~*~

A/N: A shortie, I know. I think this is my first introspective kind of story that I've written for fanfiction. Everything else is in the original section. 0_o 

Everyone knows who Reno's talking to, right? It gets a whole lot more obvious as the 'story' goes on. 

And the title? A spin off of a well known phrase. I got it from a book by an alcoholic on alcoholism. _Drinking: A Love Story._ Very interesting book. 

Hope it wasn't that bad! Toodles! 


End file.
